The Adventures Of Arnie And Jake
Two Little Ants In A Big Ant Army
Below you will find the first chapter from my new children's book, The Adventures Of Arnie And Jake. If you enjoy the first chapter (and I know you will) then why not think about buying a copy of the book for yourself? At the end of this page you'll find everything you need to know to get your own copy.
ARNIE AND THE CHERRY PIE
Arnie didn't mean to make anyone mad. He was just out scouting for food to take back home to the colony. How was he to know the largest cherry pie he had ever seen actually belonged to someone? After all, the pie was just sitting there on the counter. Besides, what's a simple little private in the Little Hill Ant Army supposed to do?
click on picture Arnie almost didn't see that huge wooden spoon when it came crashing down next to his little ant head! Arnie felt the spoon graze across his left antennae, and cherry pie splattered all over the kitchen, but Arnie didn't stay around to eat any of it! Arnie ran as fast as his six little legs would carry him!
He hid behind a pepper shaker and waited. Arnie was no coward but he knew when to pick his battles and Arnie knew there is no way a single ant can whip an angry human. Maybe the human who tried to hit him with the spoon would think he was gone and would stop looking for him, or maybe the angry human would look until it found him, but Arnie wasn't coming out. No way!
Arnie heard the human say a few words about dumb ants which Arnie didn't appreciate, but Arnie wasn't about to complain just then, so he continued to hide as the angry human picked up the huge pie and walked away.
Not wanting to come out too soon, Arnie waited behind the pepper shaker until he was sure no one was going to return. When he came out from hiding, he was surprised to find several of his cousins-- all of them soldiers too-- busy collecting bits of cherry pie and rushing them back to the Little Hill Ant Colony. "Arnie," Cousin Jake asked, "where have you been? There's cherry pie all over the place. You better get started working before Captain Thomas figures out that you haven't been here all along."
Arnie didn't know what to say so he just started gathering up bits of cherry pie as quickly as he could go. "It's about time you got here, Arnie!" It was Captain Thomas and he was mad. It was easy to tell when Captain Thomas was mad because his antennae would vibrate when he was mad, and they were really vibrating fast. "I suppose you just decided to take a nap or go smell the flowers instead of showing up for work like every other ant in the army has to do!"
"No Sir," Arnie said. "I've been here all along. It was I who first discovered the pie."
"Arnie!" roared Captain Thomas, "It's bad enough you're late, but now you're lying about it and claiming you discovered the pie!"
"But Sir, I did find the pie. But I was hiding behind the pepper shaker."
"Hiding," yelled the captain, "hiding from what?"
"From the human who almost flattened me with a huge wooden spoon," answered Arnie.
"Human, no one saw a human," yelled Captain Thomas. "Jake, have you seen any humans?"
"No sir," answered Jake, "I haven't seen anyone but us ants."
"Anyone else see a human?" shouted Captain Thomas.
"Not I," said another ant.
"Me neither," said still another.
"Arnie," Captain Thomas said still quite angry, "for that you'll have to do extra duty for the next two weeks. No time off and no weekends off. Do you understand me, Private?"
"But sir," complained Arnie, "I'm supposed to go on vacation this weekend. You can't make me miss out on my vacation."
"I can make you miss out on anything. I'm the captain, remember?"
"Yes sir," Arnie said. "yes sir."
Arnie’s heart was broken. He had looked forward to this vacation for months. He was planning on going to the house down the street where he heard there was a whole house full of human children-- five or six of them-- and lots of ice-cream and candy spills all over the entire house. The other ants called it Paradise and Arnie wanted to experience it for himself. “Captain Thomas, sir, I swear I saw a human. It almost killed me. Look at the big scrape on my antennae.”
“Looks to me like you scraped your antennae on some of those grains of salt over there, Soldier. I suggest you be more careful and look where you are walking. Besides, that fly in the window is working aerial surveillance for us, and his report indicates that the human who lives here left in it’s vehicle before sunrise.”
“But sir...”
“Don’t you but sir me, Soldier!” shouted the captain. “I’ll hear no more of your nonsense. Now get back to gathering that cherry pie before I bust you back to gathering mud to build new ant hills.”
Arnie had worked gathering mud to build ant hills before, and that was really hard work, not to mention the fact that it was all outdoors even in bad weather. Arnie thought best of saying anything more, but wondered if there was nothing he could do to save his good name as well as his vacation in the house called Paradise.
Late that night, and tired from having worked two shifts, Arnie crawled into bed, his whole body aching, curled up his antennae to shut out the noise of the busy ant colony, and went quickly to sleep. “Wake up, wake up, Arnie,” cousin Jake said as he shook Arnie awake.
“But I just went to sleep,” grogged Arnie.
“No you didn’t,” replied Jake. “You’re late reporting to duty and Captain Thomas is really mad.
“Okay,” Arnie said as he uncurled his antennae, “okay.”
Arnie ran as quickly as he could to get into formation with the other ants who were all lined up in front of the captain. “About time you showed up, Soldier. I suppose you were hiding from the human with the giant wooden spoon again.”
“No sir,” said Arnie. “I overslept, Sir.”
“Overslept, well that’s what happens when you stay out all night looking for honey, soldier. I suspect you better shape up before I take away your vacation next year too.”
“Yes sir,” said Arnie.
Now what was Arnie to do? How could he make the captain believe there really was a human with a huge wooden spoon, and he really did almost get squashed? And now the captain thinks he stayed out all night long looking for honey, but he didn’t even drink honey because too many good ants get caught up in drinking honey and ruin their whole lives. Honey is a horrible drug, and Arnie wasn’t about to ruin his life that way, but now his life, or at least his vacation, was ruined anyway.
“Okay Soldiers,” Captain Thomas announced, “our aerial surveillance team has assured us there is no one home today, and someone has left the top off of the sugar bowl, so today we are going to hustle and get every grain of sugar out of that bowl before the human comes home. The fly will be watching from the window to alert us should the human return, but since this is a weekday we don’t expect the human to return before late this evening so we shouldn’t have any problem getting this done. Now get to it, Ants!”
Arnie and his buddies lined up and ran as quickly as they could to the sugar bowl. The cherry pie was long gone as the human had cleaned up all that the ants had failed to take with them the day before, but all that sugar was there for the taking. With any luck it would be a short day for all but Arnie.
All went well until about two in the afternoon, when suddenly from out of nowhere the angry human appeared with a fly swatter! The fly in the window screamed a warning then fled as fast as its wings could whisk it away, but many of Arnie’s buddies were killed or wounded before the Malay was over! This is tragic, thought Arnie. This is the absolute worst thing I have ever seen. How could this have happened?
After they escaped from the angry human with the fly swatter, they gathered to discuss what had just happened to them. “The fly’s a spy!” shouted the captain. “The fly’s a spy for he has good eyes, and he didn’t try. The fly’s a spy, now hear my cry, the fly’s a spy, the fly must die!”
“But Captain,” Arnie asked, “why would the fly turn on us? The human would surely kill him with the fly swatter as quickly as it would kill us.”
“The fly’s a spy, the fly’s a spy. He could have warned us but he didn’t try. Because of him good ants die. The fly’s a spy. The fly must die.”
“Maybe the fly was mistaken,” Arnie warned the captain, “like the day the human almost killed me with the wooden spoon. Do you think a human would cut a deal with a fly? Humans hate flies, right?”
“You’ve got a good point there, Arnie,” the captain said. “Maybe the fly was mistaken but he’s got a lot of explaining to do before I believe he’s not at fault. With all those eyes he should have been able to spot the human’s vehicle when it pulled in the driveway, and humans move so slowly we should of had plenty of time to retreat before it got to us. It just doesn’t make any sense.”
Just then, another ant ran into the briefing room where Arnie, the captain, and the other survivors of the attack were discussing their dire straits. “Captain Thomas, sir,” shouted the ant as he saluted with his antennae, “I’m Sergeant Lost of Little Hill Ant Army Intelligence, and we’ve got a situation headquarters says you need to be aware of ASAP!”
“Go on, Sergeant,” said the captain.
“Well Sir, Ant Army Intelligence reports there’s a human in the house that your soldiers are raiding today, Sir, and that the house may be occupied even though there is no vehicle parked in the driveway. Also the hours of occupation have changed.”
“How long has Army Intelligence known about this?” asked Captain Thomas.
“Several weeks, Sir.”
“Several weeks!” the captain shouted the loudest anyone had ever heard him shout, his antennae vibrating faster than ever before! “Ant Army Intelligence has known about this for several weeks and they’re just now sending a messenger. That doesn’t sound too intelligent does it? What about all the good ants we lost? They were some of the best trained troops this army has ever trained! And what about all our wounded? I lost over half a squadron of crack troops today. What’s Intelligence got to say about that, Sergeant?”
“Yeah, and what about all those double shifts Arnie had to work, and what about his vacation?” Jake shouted at Sergeant Lost. “What about it?”
The next day Arnie was eating the biggest spill of chocolate chip ice-cream swirls he had ever seen in the house down the street called, Paradise. Of course thinking about his buddies made vacation a little less than he had hoped it would be, but after vacation he was to start his new assignment as the new head of Ant Army Intelligence. It was the fastest promotion in the history of the Little Hill Ant Army.
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